The Adventures of Valor
by applefladapple
Summary: A perfectly magnificent story. -me/ Heartbreaking, yet so moving. -me/ I hate this stupid story. -me/ Rated m for extreme mind blowing nonsense and run along sentences.
**A.N: this is a grate storey if you don't like it stuff you and your family into teddy suits.**

Knock, knock. The sound came to him through the wooden door. Knock knock. Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock knock knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock.

Screw you pizza man said Valor the blue chicken as he collected his portable chicken girlfriend from the idiot pizza man. Valor farted to the living room bumping his head on the alive tree called Maokai. Watsh it yoo bloo chiiiiicken said maokai the drunk talking tree. Valor sighed. Maokai are you drunk again he said. So what if I am said the drunk tree I'm allowed my daily antarctican toilet cleaner. It's not up to you to decide my poisonous drinking habit. Actually it is said the blue pig because I can fly and you can't. And with that he left the drunk tree crying at its sad sad life. The blue rat ate all the way to the unliving room where he opened his portable girlfriend. It was an ivia. No not an ivia you fool, ANIVIA. Some idiots don't even know how to spel. Anyway, he opened it and was pleased, as he also was a blue chicken. Hi said anivia my name is anivia. Cool I'm Valor the blue chicken and I want a hug. Ok said anivia so she gave him a nice freezing hug. She smelled like chicken. Chicken. What was it about that word. Chicken. The last letter of chicken is n. N is the 14th letter in the alphabet. 14. 1+4=5. Five members of the band Pentakill. The prophecy is a song by Pentakill, voiced by Mordekaiser. Mordekaiser, the master of metal. Metal. Silver is a metal. Silver has six letters. 6 divided by 2 equals 3. What has three sides? A triangle. Which meant...

Oh no said Valor panicky. Yes it is true said anivia I am actually... TEEMO! What said Valor confused I thought you were illuminati. No cackled anivia/teemo evilly. You made a mistake. Instead of dividing two by three, you were meant to multiply it by 111! Which gives you 666!

Of course said Valor how could I possibly miss such a crucial step. Because you're just an O/C! Mwahahahahaha!

Valor cried at being an O/C. It wasn't fair he thought Quinn gets all the fame. Suddenly something inside him snapped. He lunged forward like a mighty tortilla tomato beast in its most angry state- Antarctica. He throttled teemo to death with his delicious spicy chicken wings. And with that, the great teemo evil Satan burger guy WAS NO MORE.

The end.

Wait a second. End has three letters. Three words, etched on some random old dead guys grave. Two is three. Two times is= Isis. Three= triangle= illuminati. Gasp. That means Isis is the illuminati said Valor in a handly manner. I don't even have hands said the blue duck. Crash there came a sound from the chimney. Santas a bit early this year thought Valor. But little did he know, Santa didn't exist in runeterra. Valor rolled in through the door, spotting YET ANOTHER chicken leg. He ate it and burped. I am a blue cannibal chicken said Valor and I want to eat more chicken. He smelled with his chicken smelling organ. Not the body organ the musical one. He smelled a chicken coming down his chimney. Oh no. It was the mighty Bazir come to kill Valor to avenge his eaten chicken parents whom Valor had eaten three weeks, two days, five hours, seven minutes, eight seconds, seventy-nine milliseconds and one nanosecond ago. I have come to avenge my eaten chicken parents whom you had eaten three weeks, two days, five hours, seven minutes, eight seconds, seventy-nine milliseconds and one nanosecond ago bellowed Bazir in happy agony anger. Please don't kill me said Valor the orange horse I have so little to live for and I'm too old to die. Okay then said Bazir I'll just go then. And with that he farted his way back up the chimney like a fat frog doing push-ups. And accidentally blew up Valor because he farted on a homeless ant's oil drum fire, exploding himself and Valor and maokai the drunk tree and anivia/teemo/satan and everything and everyone in all of runeterra into space where most of them suffocated instantly and died. Dammit said Bazir every time I eat bean tacos. And with that, he died. Valor was a blue chicken so he survived, that is, until he farted on the sun and got exploded to. The end.

 **Concluding note: if you read all the way to the end congratulations I will meet you tomorrow to high-five you yesterday. Review if you want another nonsense story and who you would like to be featured in it from LoL.**

 **P.S: I don't own any of these characters except stupid pizza guy.**

 **Peace out!**


End file.
